Friday, December 30, 2011

Don't Let Time Rush By You

Doesn't it feel like as we get older, time flies by?  Here it is, almost 2012....I don't feel as old as the year makes me but here I am.  As children, we can't wait to grow up.  We look forward to milestone birthdays, Christmas, learning to drive, getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, graduating from high school, graduating from college, finding a great job, getting married, having least those were things I remember looking forward to.  And, here I am, watching my kids want life to hurry up.  I just want to slow time down, enjoy my boys and every aspect of their lives.

2011 has been yet another rough year.  And I must admit, I am kind of in a hurry to see what is on the other side of this mountain.  I want to do great things, make a difference in lives, enjoy Colorado and my family and find some stability.  However, I feel like I need to just slow down and let God be God.  He must have me here for this time for a reason.  I have to continually remind myself of this.  I have had such a great opportunity to meet some wonderful friends here and be an extension of God's love.  You know, I have asked "what's next? what's next? what's next?  Come on God....I need to know!"  And after three years of this, and no clear direction, I think maybe I need to just be still and know that He has me right where he wants me.

I will still pray for direction and I am believing for great things this next year.  After finding out that I may have rheumatoid arthritis, I have had a new outlook.  Being in pain a majority of the time, I have purposed that when I have a good day without pain, I will do all possible to enjoy something that Colorado has to offer outside of the house.  When I am in pain, I choose to cope by loving my boys and husband through it.  I can't let it put me out of commission.  Am I giving up hope on God's healing?  Absolutely not!  I believe He heals and I will continue to pray for healing.  I have so many people that I would love to see God heal of their physical issues.  Maybe this will be a big year of healing!!

Have a wonderful 2012!  May God bless you this year! BUT...slow down and enjoy what God has for you!  Don't rush through life!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The gift of giving

Christmas is a season when people like to give.  It is so amazing to read story after story of the gracious people giving out of selflessness.  We actually were a recipient of someone being kind.  We had put some things on layaway for our boys for Christmas.  I received a phone call from Walmart the day we were to pay it off and pick it up.  The voice that left the message on my phone was so excited to tell me that a 'secret santa' had paid the remaining balance of our layaway and that we could come pick up our items.  I cried at the generosity of this person who didn't know me or my family but had chosen to be a blessing.  As, I went out that day, it made me want to bless another.  I was on the lookout for a way to do something without being known.  It really is amazing how one person's act of kindness stirs that same thought in you. I am reminded of several commercials that I have seen about this very thing.  One, is showing how others around the giver and the person being blessed, see the kindness and purpose to do something themselves.  It doesn't have to be as extreme as paying off a bill, but as simple as holding the door for someone or picking up something someone has dropped or saying a kind word to someone.  Maybe you see a young mom who is struggling with a crying little one....maybe say something encouraging like, "you are a great mom."  The day that I received a blessing, I thought as I was putting gas in my car that I could go prepay at a pump that someone would later pull up to.  Or, pay for the lunch of someone in line behind me at McDonald's.  My sister in law pulled up to a toll booth only to find that the person ahead of her had paid for her.

These are such great ideas but why must it only be at Christmas?  I encourage you to continually be a blessing throughout the year.  It does several things....first, it blesses others....second, it is like food for your own soul to know that you have helped someone.....and last, it models to others the act of kindness and starts a wave.

I had a friend ask on her fb how she could get her kids to understand the act of giving.  I think it is a continual attitude that rubs off as they see the happiness it brings and the joy it is to give.  I have to say, that it warms my heart to see my kids catch on to the act of kindness.

Monday, December 19, 2011

so ready to move on....but WHERE???

I am so ready to move from this place of not knowing our future. We have been living in our "wilderness" for three years now and I try to just live day to day, but am growing more and more frustrated. We have been blessed with a roof over our head for this time. I know that because we live on the church property, and in the church education building, people have got to be frustrated with us. We are a family of six....FOUR boys. My boys need a place of permanence and security. I have to fight back tears as they beg to move to a place with grass to play in. They have no place to play and be boys. I need a place where they can thrive and also grow in their faith. Church planting is tough especially on families with kids.

Not only that, but I am wondering if God has plans for us in the ministry as pastors. That is what my husband studied to do but as time goes on, it is looking like ministry is not where we are headed. I was thinking the other day about this. I really am okay with not being in the ministry if that is what God is telling us. I just want to know. I will say, there is a certain easiness about being a pastor's wife. I am not a strong leader, never have been. But, it makes it easy for me to be a witness when I can say that my husband in a minister. I have noticed that in the past three years, since he has had to work outside the church, my beliefs have become mine and I have learned so much about how Jesus would do things. Maybe that was the lesson I needed to learn....I don't know. I am not afraid to be Jesus to those who need love, acceptance, and forgiveness. I know that I don't have to be a pastor's wife to do that, but it sure made it easier.

We have been through such ups and downs since our move to Colorado. I do hope that God will show us His plans soon. Meanwhile, I hope that my boys don't annoy and tear up this place that has so graciously been offered and where we call home for this time.

Where to God....?