Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Conversation with God...

One of the things that I have really been thinking about lately is prayer.  In the past few years I have prayed with such passion believing that God was going to meet every need just the way i asked for it to be answered.   In conversations recently with friends and family members this has been a topic.  My Aunt Cookie passed away two months ago while waiting to be put on the liver transplant list.  I know that many prayers went up on her behalf all over this country.  It was not answered like we thought it would be. I know that she is with Jesus right now enjoying no pain or suffering and that is the only thing that comforts me, but my prayer was not answered like I wanted it to be.  My Aunt Dora passed just yesterday, two  months to the day from my Aunt Cookie.  As I lift up my family to my Comforter, I am believing that He will be near them and bring them peace that only He can during this time.  My prayers, up to this point in my life have been requests for help in time of trouble.  Although, I know that this is important, last night, I had a revelation.  In my questioning of why should I pray if He already has the answer, He urged this thought....Cindy, I just want you to have conversation with me.  I want to be close to you like a friend.  Wow, why is this such a shock to me?  When I become friends with someone or want to build on a relationship with a family member, I meet with them, talk with them and as we get closer, I share my struggles, hopes and dreams with them.  Isn't that what prayer really should be about?  He wants for us to desire that relationship that needs a conversation to know that all is well.

I went for a jog this morning to continue thinking about this and had a very nice "chat" with God.  I have chatted before, but today it was not begging for an answer but just telling Him about what I am facing and enjoying a time alone with Him.  Wow, how refreshing.  I meet with a friend to do the same thing, why wouldn't I think of God this way?  When I want to build a friendship, I want to talk with that person as much as possible.  How else will I truly know them if I don't spend time with them?  God wants the same from us.

When I returned, I opened my Bible for the first time in a couple weeks (yes, I haven't read it in awhile).  I have a Celebrate Recovery Study Bible that I purchased when I attempted to go through the 12 step program.  I am not one that usually opens up my Bible and says, what is it today that you are speaking to me about and just magically comes across something...but today, it opened to Psalms 27: 1-6...and the 11th step. "we sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contacts with God, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out."   The devotion goes on the say this...."Most of us initially turn to God for the help he can give us...... we may be surprised to find that, as time passes, we turn to God out of a desire to be near him,  As we discover how wonderful he is and how much he loves us, we draw near to him because of the joy we experience in his presence."

Really, this is not something that I didn't already know but I guess in the experiences of the past few years, I have come to realize that prayer means something completely different to me.  So, if you see me and share a struggle with me, I may say something like, "I will chat with God about that", not being disrespectful but acknowledging that my friend, and creator, God, will be there to listen and know my concern for you.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this post, friend. It is exactly what I needed today!! Love ya!