Friday, May 13, 2011

Never a Dull Moment/ Bathroom Stories

What in the world would I do for laughs if I didn't have kids? OMGoodness!!  I thought that I would share a couple of stories that have made me laugh out loud.

Hudson, my four year old, never EVER gives me a moment to myself.  I cannot do anything without him right there with me.  I try to sneak off to the bathroom but it never fails.....I hear a little voice, "mommy, where are you?  What are you doing?"  He will come in and say, "are you pottying like me, Mommy."  Just a week or so ago, we were at Costco and he needed to go to the restroom.  So, I took him.  After he was done, I thought I might as well use it too before I shop.  As, I am sitting there, he says, "Mommy, I hear you pottying like me.....but you don't have a dinky."  I nearly died.  It was funny but the funniest part was the snickers I could hear from the lady in there with us.  You just never know what he will just have to be willing to laugh it off. 

Another bathroom story that just happened last night, made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt.  We had gone out for a nice dinner with my parents to P.F. Changs.  Twice, Hudson needed to use the restroom.  The nice thing about having older kids as well, is that I don't always have to be the one to excuse myself to take the little one to the bathroom.  I asked Hunter, my 15 year-old, if he would mind.  He said no problem and took him.  Both times, they returned, sat down and joined dinner with no indication of anything out of the ordinary.  We hadn't been out of the restaurant and in the car for a minute and Hunter said, "I have a bathroom story."  As he told the story of what happened I thought Dennis was going to cry he was laughing so hard.  Apparently, when the got into the restroom, Hudson pointed at the urinal and told Hunter he wanted to use that one.  So, Hunter left him to use it while he went into the stall.  When Hunter came out of the stall, there was Hudson, pants down, sitting IN the urinal.  Hunter said, "Hudson, what are you doing?"  Hudson, without any hesitation, told him that he was pooping.  Hunter said, "NO, you have to use the other one.  Get down."  Hudson said, "but I am not done."  Hunter picked him up and sent him into the stall, finding that he had already left a treasure in the urinal.  At this point, I think I would have been hurrying Hudson along and got out of there.  I have to hand it to Hunter, he quickly cleaned out the urinal and brought his brother back out to dinner not saying a word as to be disgusting or embarrass his little brother.  Not only is that a funny story but Hunter gets the award of "BEST BIG BROTHER EVER".  I laugh so hard picturing a little guy climbing up into the urinal....the picture of Hunter as he sees him there and realizes what he is doing....and the thought of what would have happened if someone had walked in and saw little man sitting there.  Hudson, being the outgoing kid he is, probably would have just waved and told the person what he was doing.  hehehehehehe.

Speaking of telling it like it is, when we were potty training him, we tried just about everything during the process.  I didn't think the kids was EVER going to get it.  Our last ditch effort was bribing with candy, toys, ANYTHING.  He loves anything to do with sports of any kind.  So, I offered toy golf club, Gator golf, basketballs, bowling name it.  He would tell me he was going to do it so he could get those things.  I honestly thought to myself, we are gonna be broke when he finally gets it because we have promised the world.  But, the embarrassing part would come when we were in the store, walking through the toy section.  He would shout out, "Mommy, when I poop, you're gonna get me that toy huh?"  Sometimes, I would pretend he wasn't my child, other times I would look around to see who was there and laugh out loud.  I have learned to never tell him anything that I don't mind the whole world hearing about because he WILL tell it somewhere sometime.  

One more story then I will stop....just happens to be on the same topic...Hudson was here at home one day.  He pooted.  I said, "Hudson, what do you need to say?"  He said, "I don't know....? Bless me?"  I said, "no, when you poot, you say, 'excuse me'.  When someone sneezes, that is when you say, 'bless you'."  It took him awhile to figure that one out, but in the process, somewhere, we were out and about, when he announces "I just pooted, somebody bless me."  Heehee.


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